For those whose eating disorder symptoms include being at a weight below where their body seems to want to naturally settle, whatever BMI measurement this may be at (it may be above the ‘normal’ BMI range that our medical system still uses so much of the time), then weight restoration can be one of the most medically critical, and emotionally challenging, parts of eating disorder recovery.
Even if we know in our wise, healthy selves that our body needs nourishment and weight gain to survive and to heal, there is so often another part of us that feels like this process is unbearable, unfair, or proof that we have failed.
If this is where you find yourself right now, I am so glad you’re here.
You are not doing anything wrong by struggling with this. You are doing something incredibly brave.
In this post, I want to gather together some of the practices, perspectives, and resources that can help make the process of weight restoration even a little bit more tolerable - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not painless (I wish I could promise that), but more supported, more held, and maybe just a bit less lonely.
My hope is that you can use this as something to return to when it all feels like too much.
1. Supporting Your Body Through Weight Restoration
1. Clothes That Support You
When your body is changing, it is so normal to feel every waistband, every seam, every shift.
This doesn’t mean your body is wrong. It means your nervous system has been hyper-attuned to your size and shape for a long time, and it hasn’t caught up yet to what safety and nourishment can feel like.
Some practices that can help:
- Buy or borrow looser, softer clothing
- Drawstring pants, soft leggings a size up, long sweaters, oversized t‑shirts, soft dresses, flowy tops.
- If you can, choose fabrics that don’t cling eg. cotton, linen, knits - anything your body can breathe in.
- Change your relationship with your wardrobe.
Instead of keeping older, smaller clothes in your main closet where you see them every day, you might:- Pack them away in a box or another room, not as a punishment, but as an act of gentleness:
My body is healing; I don’t need to stare at old versions of myself while I do that. - If it helps, write a note and place it on the box:
Right now I am choosing healing, not comparison. These can stay here while I grow into my life. - If it feels financially feasible, you could donate these clothes, or sell them, when you feel ready to fully part with them. If it feels emotionally hard to part with some special items, I find that taking photos of them, and keeping these photos somewhere special, even just a special folder on your computer, can help with the parting process. It’s also a way to remember the clothes without being able to compare their actual size to what you are currently wearing.
- Pack them away in a box or another room, not as a punishment, but as an act of gentleness:
- Allow some things to be in-between clothes
You don’t have to wait until you are at your final weight to deserve clothes that fit.
Healing is your life right now. You are allowed to be comfortable while you do it.
2. Soothing Physical Discomfort
As your body adjusts, you may notice bloating, fullness, digestive discomfort, or feeling puffy or heavy. Again, none of this means you are doing it wrong; it means your body is waking up after a long time of not getting enough.
Some gentle supports:
- Warmth and softness
- A hot water bottle or heating pad on your stomach when you feel bloated or cramped.
- A soft blanket, cozy socks, anything that helps your body feel held.
- Gentle movement only if it’s medically safe and approved by your team
- Very gentle stretching or short, slow walks can sometimes help digestion and ease anxiety.
- This is not about earning food or changing your body. It’s about soothing your system.
- If movement is part of your eating disorder behaviours, or not yet safe, this may not be the right tool right now. Resting is powerful work.
- Use support cushions or change your posture
Sitting may feel especially intense as weight comes back. A small pillow behind your back, a softer chair, or lying down for a little while after meals (if approved by your team) may all help. - Remind yourself: discomfort is not danger
Sometimes just naming it helps:
My stomach feels stretched and bloated. This is discomfort. It is not danger. It’s my digestive system re-learning and adapting.
2. Blind Weighing: Why It Can Be So Helpful
For many people, seeing the number on the scale becomes the primary lens through which they judge themselves, their day, their worth, or their progress.
And when you’re in weight restoration, seeing that number go up, even when it is saving your life, can send your entire system into panic.
This is where blind weighing can be so helpful.
What is Blind Weighing?
Blind weighing means:
- You step on the scale at your doctor’s office, treatment center, or dietitian’s office.
- They see the number while you don’t.
The information is used to keep you medically safe and to guide treatment decisions, without constantly triggering the eating disorder part of your mind.
You’re not in denial. You’re allowing your brain and nervous system time to stabilize without adding in a stimulus that is incredibly triggering.
And you may choose to never see your weight again. I almost never do (I did a few times to make sure I was gaining during pregnancy). Unlike other things in recovery where building up to tolerating exposures may be necessary for reengaging fully with life (eg. tolerating diet talk from others, calorie counts at restaurants….), seeing your weight is not necessary for a full and healthy recovered life.
Why It Can Help
Some reasons blind weighing can be a powerful support:
- It reduces obsessive number-checking and comparison
Without the number, it becomes harder for your eating disorder to create fearful stories such as, Last week I was X, this week I’m Y, therefore I am failing, or will gain at this rate forever. - It lets you focus on how your life is changing, not just your body
Are you thinking more clearly? Feeling less cold? Are you able to read or talk or laugh even a little more? These are signs of healing that no scale will ever show you. - It gradually deconditions the link between a number and safety or self-worth
Over time, you begin to learn that you can go days, weeks, months without knowing your weight - and nothing terrible happens.
If you’re open to it, you might talk to your team about trying blind weighing for a set period, perhaps the next few months of weight restoration, and then reevaluating together when, or if, seeing numbers would truly be helpful again. I just caution that if your eating disorder is still very strong, and weight gain fear very high, that seeing your weight after a long time of not, during weight restoration, can be really hard too. If you are going to do blind weighing, I would strongly suggest keeping it blind, until your eating disorder is much quieter and your sense of self apart from your weight much stronger. And at this point, you may have no interest in knowing it at all.
3. Common Thoughts During Weight Restoration, and Gentle Reframes
Weight restoration almost always brings up intense thoughts and fears. None of these thoughts mean you are those fears; they’re simply the eating disorder part of you trying to protect you in the only way it knows how.
Below are some common thoughts, along with ways your wise, healthy self might gradually begin to respond. For a deeper exploration of these types of dialogues, you can read my post, The Power of Inner Dialogues During Eating Disorder Recovery.
1. I’m out of control
Eating Disorder Part:
If my weight is changing, I’m clearly out of control. I’m letting myself go.
Healthy / Wise Reframe:
Weight restoration is intentional and medically necessary.
I am following a plan made with professionals because my body has been in a state of emergency.
This isn’t letting myself go; this is letting my body live and heal.
Sometimes it can help to imagine what you would say to a friend who needed a life-saving procedure and gained weight as part of their healing. Would you say they were out of control? Or that they were being incredibly brave?
2. No one will accept me in a bigger body
Eating Disorder Part:
If my body changes, people will think less of me. I’ll lose love, respect, opportunities.
Healthy / Wise Reframe:
The people who only value me when I’m thin are not my safe people.
The relationships that truly nourish me will be the ones that survive and even deepen as I become more fully myself.
I may still face judgment in a fatphobic culture, and that is real. But my shrinking my body to stay safe in this system is not the only option. I can also work on building an inner and outer community where my worth is not tied to my size.
You don’t have to like your changing body right now to begin practicing this truth. It is huge to just be willing to consider that it might be possible.
3. If I feel this uncomfortable now, it will always feel like this
Eating Disorder Part:
This level of discomfort is unbearable. I can’t live like this forever. I need to go back.
Healthy / Wise Reframe:
My nervous system is screaming because this is new and it doesn’t match its old rules. That doesn’t mean this is how it will feel forever.
The discomfort I feel now is the discomfort of change, not evidence that I’m on the wrong path. Brains and bodies adapt. Mine will too. I just can’t judge the long-term feelings from this early stage.
4. My body is wrong; I have to fix it
Eating Disorder Part:
If I don’t get back to my old size, I’ve failed. This body is proof that I’m lazy, weak, or undisciplined.
Healthy / Wise Reframe:
My old goal body was built on deprivation, fear, and constant threat. It wasn’t a neutral preference; it was a survival strategy.
This body is trying to be safe. It’s trying to exist in a way that doesn’t require me to be at war with myself all the time.
Perhaps the fixing that’s needed is not of my body, but of the standards I’ve been taught to hold against it.
Sometimes it helps here to imagine bodies you genuinely admire that don’t fit the thin ideal - authors, teachers, family members, people in your community - and notice what you truly value about them as human beings, that would be dulled if they were preoccupied by keeping their bodies small and perfectly toned.
4. Practices to Anchor You When Everything Feels Too Much
These are practices you can lean on in the moment - before, during, or after meals, or any time you feel flooded by body distress.
1. Grounding in Your Senses
When your mind is screaming about your body, coming back to your immediate, sensory experience can help to drop anchor, as Russ Harris calls it.
You might try:
- 5–4–3–2–1
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can feel (your feet on the floor, fabric on your skin, the chair under you…)
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell (or imagine)
- 1 thing you can taste (or imagine)
This doesn’t make the thoughts disappear, but it reminds your body: I am here. I am safe enough right now. I can survive this moment.
2. Self-Compassion Break
Adapted from Kristin Neff’s beautiful work, you can use this anywhere - out loud in private, or silently in public:
- This is a moment of suffering.
- Suffering is part of being human.
- May I be kind to myself in this moment.
If touch feels okay, you might place a hand over your heart, gently hold your own hand, or squeeze your shoulder as you say it.
3. Talking With Your Future Self
This is a journaling practice that I previously wrote about, and it can be especially powerful during weight restoration.
- Imagine yourself 5-10 years in the future (or whatever number comes to you), fully on the other side of this process - whatever that looks like for you.
- Close your eyes and picture them knowing you did get through this.
- Then write a letter from them to you, beginning with something like,
My dearest [your name], if only you could see yourself through my eyes right now…
Let them tell you:
- What they remember about this season
- How they feel in their body now
- What they want you to know about what is coming
You might be surprised by the tenderness and clarity that can come through when you give this part of you a voice.
5. Books, Podcasts and Voices That Can Hold You While You Heal
Sometimes we need to borrow someone else’s hope when our own feels very small. Surrounding yourself with recovery-affirming, body-liberating voices can make such a difference, especially during weight restoration.
Here are some resources that many people find helpful in this particular phase:
Books
You certainly don’t need to read all of these. Even picking one that resonates can be plenty.
- For self-compassion and emotional support:
- Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff
- Radical Acceptance or True Refuge by Tara Brach
- Befriending Your Body by Ann Saffi Biasetti
- The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer
- For body image and weight myths:
- More Than a Body by Lexie Kite and Lindsay Kite
- The Wisdom of Your Body by Hillary McBride
- Health At Every Size and Body Respect by Linda Bacon (and Lucy Aphramor for Body Respect)
- Body Kindness by Rebecca Scritchfield
- For recovery stories and eating disorder-specific support:
- 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder plus the 8 Keys Workbook by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb
- Life Without Ed and Goodbye Ed, Hello Me by Jenni Schaefer
- Eating in the Light of the Moon by Anita Johnston
- The Inside Scoop on Eating Disorder Recovery by Colleen Reichmann and Jennifer Rollin
Podcasts and Episodes
You might put these on while resting after a meal, walking (if appropriate for you), or resting on your bed with your eyes closed.
Some podcasts that consistently hold a compassionate, weight-inclusive, recovery-affirming lens:
- Food Psych with Christy Harrison
- Dietitians Unplugged with Aaron Flores and Glenys Oyston
- Body Kindness with Rebecca Scritchfield
- Eat the Rules with Summer Innanen
- The Recovery Warrior Show
- The Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast with Dr. Janean Anderson
- End Eating Disorders with Millie Thomas
You can search within these shows for episodes about:
- Weight restoration
- Set point
- Body image distress
- Health at Every Size
- Letting go of the scale
Listening to people speak from the other side of this, especially those who live in a variety of body sizes, can be profoundly grounding.
6. A Few Final Thoughts to Hold Onto
If you are in the midst of weight restoration right now, there are a few things I would love to share with you. These are based on my personal experience of going through my own weight restoration when I was younger, and from my training and work as a recovery coach today:
- This feels hard because it is hard
There is nothing weak or dramatic about how painful it feels to watch your body change in the opposite direction of everything our culture idolizes - and everything your eating disorder has promised you and valued at the expense of all else. Your distress makes sense. - Your body is not betraying you
It is doing exactly what bodies are designed to do when they’ve been underfed: repair, rebuild, protect, and seek safety. Your body’s job is not to match an image in your mind. Its job is to keep you alive long enough to live a full, meaningful life. - Your relationship with your body is not frozen in time
You are not stuck forever with the way you feel right now. Brains rewire. Nervous systems calm. Standards shift. Your sense of beauty and safety and enoughness can and will evolve as you keep going. - It is okay to need a lot of support
There is no prize for doing weight restoration independently. Lean on your therapist, dietitian, coach, friends, family, online communities, books, podcasts - whatever helps you take the next step and then the next. - You are allowed to, and need to, rest
Recovery, and especially weight restoration, requires letting your body and brain rest enough to heal. This can mean nothing but rest for a very long time. This is medicine for your recovering, rebuilding body. Exploring and healing your relationship with movement can come later. You will have so many full, energized years ahead of you to do this.
If all of this feels overwhelming, you might choose one small thing from this post to try this week:
- Buying or pulling out one softer, looser item of clothing
- Asking your team about blind weighing
- Practicing one grounding exercise each day
- Listening to one podcast episode that feels hopeful
- Writing one paragraph from your future self to you today
You are anything but alone in these feelings. And you are doing something profoundly courageous.
With so much warmth, respect, and hope for your healing,
Support For Your Journey
If you feel you could use more support on your eating disorder recovery journey I would love to connect with you. Contact me to book a free video discovery call so that we can explore if working together would be a good fit. I would love to hear from you.
