Attuning to Your Nervous System in Eating Disorder Recovery

This post is a second article about a recovery resource I have made. My first post, about my recovery resource Wise Mind Cards, can be found here, and the cards themselves can be found here. All of these resources are completely free to use.

Something that I notice often in my work with clients, and that I can see in my own eating disorder and recovery when I reflect back, is how unsettled the nervous system can be throughout the day. However, it is usually without us being consciously aware of this, just like a fish is not consciously aware of feeling wet since it is the norm and not the exception. However, as normalized as this dysregulation can become, it can indeed feel as though you are very far away from yourself and from any sense of inner steadiness, especially if eating disorder rules are not perfectly followed.

We now know though from nervous system science and from many lived experiences of recovery that simple grounding practices, used gently and repeatedly, can greatly help. They give the body a way to come back to the present moment, and help you reconnect with your surroundings and with your own inner experience, in a way that is safer and more manageable.

With this in mind I created a new resource called Centre and Ground. It is a set of fifteen grounding practice cards that you can choose from at random, ideally one per day. Over time this gives you exposure to many different ways of regulating your system so that you can discover which ones feel most effective and accessible for you, and then return to those practices whenever you need support.

In this post I will share ideas for how to use these cards throughout your day, and how this kind of nervous system support can be an important and life-changing part of eating disorder recovery.

 

What the Centre and Ground Practice Cards Are

The Centre and Ground set includes fifteen different grounding practices, each written out clearly on its own card. Some of the practices focus on the senses, such as orienting to the room or the 5‑4‑3‑2‑1 senses check. Others focus on the breath, such as extended exhale breathing, box breathing, or hot chocolate breathing. Some cards invite gentle movement or touch, such as progressive muscle squeeze and release, butterfly hug, hand on heart, self soothing shoulder squeeze, or hand tracing breaths. There are also visualization and mindfulness based practices.

The idea is that at the start of your day you choose one card at random. You then read the instructions slowly and try the practice once or twice while you are relatively calm. This helps your body and mind begin to learn the pathway before you try to use it in more stressful moments.

As you move through the days and weeks you will eventually spend time with each of the fifteen practices. In doing so you are building a personal toolkit of ways to regulate your nervous system, so that when you feel anxious, numb, disconnected or pulled strongly toward eating disorder behaviours, you have several options you already know how to use. These practices are also perfect to use before reading your Wise Mind Message to yourself throughout your day, as I introduced in my previous blog post.

 

Beginning the Day by Gently Regulating Your Nervous System

How you begin your day can have an impact on how the rest of it feels. Many of us know the experience of starting the morning with body checking or by scrolling through triggering content and noticing how quickly this sets a stressful tone. Beginning the day with a grounding practice can offer a very different experience. It sends a message to your system that you are safe, and that your body is a place you can return to with some gentleness.

Here is one way to use the Centre and Ground cards in the morning.

Create a small pocket of quiet

As soon after waking up as possible, see if you can create two or three minutes that belong only to you. This might be at the kitchen table with a warm drink, sitting on the edge of your bed before you stand up, or on the couch with a blanket. Let this be a small ritual of arriving in your day.

Choose one card for today

Choose one of the fifteen practices at random, from my website on your computer or phone, and I know this requires you to be on a screen, which I am so sorry about, and I have dreams of making these cards physical ones someday. Rather than worrying about whether you have picked the right one, experiment with trusting that the card you land on can meet you where you are today, and is the one that is meant for you for this day.

Practice along with the card

Read the steps on the card and move through them at a gentle pace. You might notice the colours and shapes in the room. You might feel your feet on the floor or your back against the chair. You might follow your breath in and out or feel your hands resting over your heart. As you do the practice, see if you can simply notice what happens in your body without judging whether it is working enough or fast enough.

Choose a simple reminder for the day

After you have tried the exercise, you may want to choose a short phrase that captures the essence of it for you. Examples might be I can come back to my senses, Long exhales help me settle, or My hands can be a safe place. Write this phrase in your journal, on a small piece of paper, or in the notes app on your phone. This reminder can act as a bridge between your morning practice and the rest of your day.

 

Returning to Your Chosen Practice Throughout the Day

The cards are most powerful when you come back to them during the day, rather than only using them once in the morning. Whenever you are able to notice your nervous system shifting into anxiety, numbness, fear or collapse, feel an unwanted urge to use an eating disorder behaviour, or experience unwanted eating disorder thoughts becoming extremely loud, try experimenting with returning to the practice you chose.

Below are some key times when this could be especially helpful.

Before and after meals and snacks

Meals and snacks can be very activating for the nervous system during eating disorder recovery. Including a brief grounding practice just before and right after a meal can create a soft buffer around that activation, and can remind your body that it is allowed to settle, even while you are doing something difficult.

During spikes in anxiety or body distress

There will be moments when distress around your body rises quickly. This might happen when you pass a mirror, put on clothes that fit differently, scroll through social media, or hear diet talk. In these situations, nervous system activation and eating disorder thoughts will likely increase together. Having a specific practice to turn to can be more helpful than trying to argue with every thought.

In transitions and in‑between moments

Transitions often make us more vulnerable to feeling unsettled. Arriving home from school or work, leaving a therapy session, moving from one task to another, or getting into bed are all possible examples. These are also opportunities for gentle regulation.

When urges to use eating disorder behaviours arise

Strong urges to restrict, binge, purge, exercise or body check are often signs that your nervous system is seeking regulation or escape. Using a grounding card at these times can be a way of offering your body and mind a different route toward regulation. You might tell yourself that you will try your chosen practice for two minutes before deciding what to do next. Often, those two minutes can be enough to reduce the intensity of the urge just slightly, which can allow your Wise Mind to be a little more present in the decision that follows.

 

How Grounding Practices Can Support Eating Disorder Recovery

Grounding practices might seem small compared to the big fears and rules of the eating disorder. However, from a therapeutic perspective, they offer several important kinds of support, especially when you are able to use them regularly and with as much gentleness as you can.

Helping your body learn that activation can rise and fall

Each time you notice yourself feeling anxious, overwhelmed or numb, and you then use a grounding practice and feel even a slight shift toward more steadiness, you are teaching your nervous system that activation does not stay at one intense level forever. Feelings and sensations can rise and fall. You also begin to learn that you have some capacity to influence this process. This often reduces the sense of panic that comes with strong sensations and makes it easier to stay with recovery actions.

Creating space between trigger and behaviour

Grounding practices create a pause between a trigger and a behaviour. Instead of moving directly from feeling upset or triggered to purging, restricting or binging, you insert a brief moment of coming back to your senses, your feet, your breath or your muscles. Even if you still use the behaviour after, your experience of pausing first strengthens the belief and awareness that you can choose different actions over time.

Supporting connection with Wise Mind and self compassion

Although the focus of these cards is nervous system regulation, they naturally support your relationship with Wise Mind and with self compassion. When you take time to hold your own hand, to rest a palm on your heart, to give yourself a gentle shoulder squeeze or to imagine a safe place, you are sending yourself two powerful messages: that your experience matters, and that you are worth caring for. These messages can soften the inner critic over time and make it more possible to speak to yourself with kindness when challenges arise.

Providing a foundation for deeper work

Having several grounding practices that feel familiar gives you a more stable foundation for the deeper emotional and therapeutic work that is often part of recovery. When difficult memories, emotions or beliefs arise, either in therapy or in daily life, you can use your practices to help your body settle enough that you do not need to escape into behaviours just to feel okay. This can help the whole recovery process feel more manageable and less overwhelming.

 

Gentle Suggestions for Working with the Cards

As you begin using the Centre and Ground cards, it can help to approach them with curiosity rather than pressure. You do not need to love every practice or feel an immediate change. You are getting to know your nervous system and what feels supportive for it.

You might give yourself time to try each of the fifteen cards, noticing which feel comfortable right away and which feel new or slightly awkward. You can remind yourself that the goal is not perfect calm but simply a little more steadiness or connection than you had a moment before, even just the tiniest bit.

You might notice which practices seem most helpful in different situations. For example, you may find that orienting to the room or the senses check works well in public places, while hand on heart or safe place visualization feels easier at home. Over time you can build a small list of practices that you know tend to help in specific contexts.

You might also find it helpful to keep your card for that day easily accessible. You can download it to your computer, or take a screenshot of it on your phone, so you can come back to it easily, quickly, and offline. If you have the time, you could also write it out into a favourite notebook or journal.

Most importantly, if you forget to use your practice or if you only remember it after a difficult moment has passed, this is completely normal and please be as gentle with yourself as possible. You are learning new ways of responding, and wiring new pathways in your brain and nervous system, and this is very hard and courageous work.

 

In Closing

I have come to believe that learning to work with your nervous system can be an extremely powerful, and easily accessible, foundation of recovery. The Centre and Ground practice cards can work as gentle reminders that you are not powerless in the face of activation or overwhelm, and that there are small, doable steps you can take to care for yourself.

As you explore these practices, my hope is that you come to know your own system more intimately, noticing what soothes you, what helps you feel more connected, and what allows you to move through your days with a little more ease. Over time, I believe that these moments of centring and grounding can weave together into a growing sense of safety inside yourself, which in turn can support you in making choices that honour your recovery, even when they are hard.

With hope and faith in your capacity to grow a steady, attuned relationship with your body and your nervous system on this healing journey,

 

Support For Your Journey