If I learned anything about eating disorder recovery from my own journey, and the work that I now do with others on their journeys, it is that the hardest parts are not the deep work, or even the goal setting and commitments, that are made in sessions. Rather, the hardest parts are the tiny, million little moments throughout the day when the part of us that wants to recover knows what we could be or ‘should’ be doing to challenge ourselves, but the fear – of weight gain, of change, of anxiety, of backlash from our own thoughts – feels just too much to tackle on our own.
And this is truly where the power of recovery coaching stands out the most I feel, because we are usually the only ones on the team able to provide support in these real moments, where the momentum of recovery and behaviour change truly takes place.
Why reaching out in the moment matters
Eating disorders thrive in secrecy and isolation. When you feel triggered to skip a meal, overexercise, or use another familiar behaviour or compensation, it is easy for the eating disorder to convince you that you are alone and that no one would understand or care. Reaching out to a coach by text interrupts this pattern.
Instead of being alone with the eating disorder thoughts and urges, you bring someone else into the moment with you – someone who you have built trust and rapport with through video sessions, and who gets it because they have been there themselves. This reaching out in the moment creates a small pause, a tiny bit of space between the urge and the action. And in that space, it can become easier to remember your values, your reasons for recovery, and the part of you that truly wants something different.
Texting in real time can help you:
- Name what is happening, instead of feeling stuck in vague anxiety
- Feel less alone when urges feel overwhelming
- Receive grounded support and coaching before a behavior begins
- Practice connecting with your wise mind self, even when the eating disorder voice feels strong
How text support can look in everyday life
Real-time messaging can feel really hard, especially at first, because it is about letting yourself be supported when things feel really hard, and messy, and you’re not sure if you will end up acting on the urge/trigger or not. For example, you might reach out when:
- You feel a strong urge to eat less of your meal plan than you are meant to
- You feel strong urges to compensate after eating
- You are at an event where food and body comments feel triggering
- You notice the urge to isolate, cancel plans, or retreat into eating disorder rules
In these moments, a text might be something as simple as:
I’m trying to eat lunch and I don’t think I can finish this
I want to engage in xx behavior to feel less guilty about lunch but another part of me doesn’t
From here, we can gently explore what is happening, validate the difficulty, and work together on a next step that supports your recovery and feels right. And if I’m not able to reply right away, then many clients have shared how just the act of reaching out seems to shift something inside of them, and to help them feel more grounded and connected to the part of them that wants to recover, and to help that part feel stronger.
And if you find yourself wanting to reach out, but not feeling able to in the moment, this is also something we can gently explore together in our video sessions, and to work on as a goal together.
Building your Wise Mind through practice
Each time you reach out instead of acting on an urge immediately, even if you still do after, you are strengthening new neural pathways and the part of you that is not your eating disorder. You are practicing a different response, one small step at a time, and over time, this can help you:
- Recognize triggers earlier
- Respond to urges with more flexibility and compassion
- Trust yourself to ask for help before things escalate
- Experience that urges, feelings, and thoughts can be ridden out rather than obeyed
While text support does not replace deeper therapeutic work, medical care, or nutrition support, it can be a powerful addition. It offers a bridge between sessions, helping you apply what you are working on in the exact moments you need it most.
You don’t have to do the hard parts alone
So much of life with an eating disorder involves facing things alone – our thoughts, anxieties, and the constant battles between doing what our eating disorder part wants and what another part wishes we could do for things to be different. In-the-moment text support can offer another way: a way where you don’t have to wait for your next appointment or push through things on your own.
You are allowed to ask for help in the moment, exactly as you are, even if (especially if) it feels messy, conflicted, or unsure.
Each text you send when you are struggling is not a sign of weakness in not facing things alone, but rather a sign of courage and trust, and of choosing connection and recovery over isolation and the eating disorder – whatever the outcome of the text exchange in that moment may be.
With so much hope for your journey, and admiration for the courage all of this takes,
Support For Your Journey
If you feel you could use more support on your eating disorder recovery journey I would love to connect with you. Contact me to book a free video discovery call so that we can explore if working together would be a good fit. I would love to hear from you.
