When I was in the middle of my own recovery, I remember wishing I had something very specific that I never had: someone who both deeply understood what I was going through from the inside, and who could also be with me in the exact, messy, terrifying moments that felt so hard, and lonely, to get through alone.
This is where I see recovery coaching filling such an important role.
Therapists and dietitians are essential, and I am so grateful for the ones who helped me, and who help each of my clients. At the same time, I see that there are pieces of the journey that are uniquely suited to the role of a recovery coach – the in‑between moments, the everyday decisions, the times when you are not in an office but at your kitchen table, or standing in front of your closet, or staring at a restaurant menu feeling frozen.
Below I've thought of some of the unique ways an eating disorder recovery coach can support your journey. My hope is that this post helps you better understand what this kind of support can look like, and also validate any longings you might have for more hands‑on, in‑the‑moment help as you do this very hard, and often very lonely, healing work.
1. Non‑judgemental support on the deepest level, because we have been there
One of the most common things clients tell me is that it feels different to talk with someone who has lived through an eating disorder themselves. There can be a real sense of relief in not having to explain why something that might look small on the outside can feel like an earthquake inside.
As recovery coaches, many of us are recovered ourselves, and in my practice we all are. And we remember what it is like to:
- Feel your entire day/week/month hinge on a number on the scale
- Panic at the thought of eating a particular food
- Be praised by others for behaviours that are quietly harming you
- Want to recover and want to stay in the eating disorder all at the same time
- Feel acute and existential panic as your body becomes healthier
Because of this, we are able to meet you with a kind of non‑judgemental understanding that says:
Of course this feels huge.
Of course this feels terrifying.
Of course a part of you wants to hold on.
And at the same time, we can hold an unwavering belief in your capacity to move through it.
2. Text support in the moment
A lot of traditional support happens after the fact. And while this is still incredibly helpful, having someone who you can reach out to right in the moment, eg. of trying to resist an eating disorder urge, or to debrief a huge trigger that just occurred, can be extremely powerful.
One of the roles I value most as a coach is being someone you can reach out to right in the middle of these moments.
In these moments, we can:
- Help you ground in your body with simple exercises
- Remind you of your values and why you are doing this
- Offer self-compassionate language that you can borrow until it feels more like your own voice
- Help you decide on the next doable step
For many clients, it can take time to get comfortable with reaching out to us in the moment. But once the comfort is there, time and again I have seen it become an invaluable resource.
3. A recovered role model
When I was in the depths of my eating disorder, I remember it feeling impossible to imagine what recovered actually meant, or what it would look like. I remember being able to picture myself either in the eating disorder, or white‑knuckling my way through life forever, constantly managing it. And the idea that it could truly be gone felt like a make-believe fairytale.
One of the unique gifts a recovered coach can offer is a tangible example that you can be this sick, and feel this hopeless at times, but then eventually:
- You truly can have a life where food is just food
- You eventually can live in your natural body without obsessing about it all day
- You will be able handle difficult emotions without turning to behaviours
- You can build a sense of self that is not dependent on weight, appearance, or performance
I stress that things are not perfect, and I still have hard days or seasons that are part of daily life. But I am no longer using eating disorder behaviours to cope, and food and body are no longer the central organizing forces of my life.
I think that simply being in regular contact with someone who lives this way can begin to stretch what your nervous system believes is possible for you, and can help that deeper, quieter part of you that longs for freedom to feel a bit less alone, and a bit more willing to trust that the pain of recovery is leading somewhere possible.
4. Real‑life support in the places that feel most triggering
There are certain environments that can feel like minefields on the recovery journey. You might feel relatively safe at home with your familiar foods and routines, and then find yourself feeling extremely overwhelmed in a restaurant, a grocery store, or a clothing store.
As recovery coaches, when geography allows, we can support you right in these moments, arranging our sessions to be done in these challenging settings.
Some examples of what this can look like:
- Restaurant sessions
- Supporting you while you order something that feels challenging
- Eating with you and supporting you through the meal and the discomfort after the meal, including urges to compensate
- Grocery store sessions
- Walking the aisles with you while you practice not reading nutrition labels
- Putting fear foods into the cart together
- Gently interrupting eating disorder rituals that are common in this setting
- Clothing store sessions
- Being there when you try on new sizes after weight restoration or body changes
- Helping you notice and soften the stories and self-talk that come up with certain numbers, or how things fit and feel
In these settings, we are not just talking about recovery but are truly practicing it in the moment, in the exact places where your eating disorder has been loudest. And over time, this creates different associations, different memories, and different pathways in your brain.
As well, even if our work is completely virtual, I have also done both phone and video sessions with clients while they are in these challenging settings, not there in person but still there right in the moment, able to talk through everything as it happens.
5. Bridging the gap between insight and action
Many clients share that they understand a lot intellectually about their eating disorder and the reasons it developed, and they might also be able to give really beautiful advice to a friend in the same situation.
However, in their own recovery, it can still feel impossible to make actual changes.
Part of the unique role of a coach is to help bridge this gap between what you know, and what you are able to live out.
This might look like:
-
- Turning big, overwhelming treatment recommendations into smaller concrete steps
- Co‑creating weekly goals that feel challenging but not overwhelming
- Checking in between sessions for accountability and support
- Helping you notice all‑or‑nothing thinking that might make any imperfect step feel like a failure
- Celebrating even the smallest shifts as true progress
Final thoughts
Eating disorder recovery truly asks so much of us on every level – physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally, spiritually/existentially. And I believe it takes somewhat of a village to help us rebuild ourselves and our lives so that recovery feels truly sustainable at the end of the long and arduous recovery journey. We are not meant to do this alone.
In addition to therapists, dietitians, physicians, support groups, spiritual communities, family and friends who can all play crucial roles, I believe, and have seen, how eating disorder recovery coaches can be an extremely powerful part of this village.
That being said, I fully believe that more than lived experience is needed to be a truly effective, and safe, recovery coach. As an unregulated field, I understand any wariness there can be around the coaching field. To read more about what it means to be a CCI-certified recovery coach, as myself and my team are, you can visit the CCI website, as well as my page for providers.
We would love to support you. Please reach out at any time.
With so much compassion, and full belief in your unique journey,
Support For Your Journey
If you feel you could use more support on your eating disorder recovery journey I would love to connect with you. Contact me to book a free video discovery call so that we can explore if working together would be a good fit. I would love to hear from you.
