4 Self-Care Practices for Your Nervous System This Holiday Season

The holiday season can be a very complex time for our nervous systems.

There may be moments of genuine warmth and connection. And at the same time, there can be so much that feels activating: changes in routine, comments about food and bodies, intense or long family interactions, travel, noise, expectations, and an internal pressure to appear cheerful when that may not match how you actually feel.

Often, before we can even name what is happening, our nervous systems have already shifted into familiar survival patterns. We might notice anxiety, irritability, numbness, or a sense of being far away from ourselves, without fully understanding why.

From a scientific perspective, this makes so much sense. The nervous system is designed to scan for possible threat and to help us react quickly. It shifts between more activated states, more shut-down states, and more regulated states throughout the day, often outside of our awareness. None of these states are wrong; they are all attempts to protect us. But when we get stuck in high activation or shut-down, it can be very hard to feel present or supported.

In this post, I will share four self-care practices for your nervous system for the holiday season, based on what is generally accepted in the science of stress, regulation, and grounding. My intention is for these practices to feel realistic and accessible: things you can quietly do at a table, in a guest bedroom, in a parked car, or even in a bathroom, without anyone needing to know you are supporting yourself in this way.

You do not need to do all of them. Choosing one or two that feel supportive is more than enough.

A Brief, Gentle Overview of the Nervous System and Stress

Very simply, our nervous system includes:

The central nervous system – the brain and spinal cord
The peripheral nervous system – nerves that connect the brain and spinal cord to the rest of the body

Part of the peripheral system is the autonomic nervous system, which regulates many automatic bodily functions such as heart rate, digestion, breathing patterns, and aspects of stress response. Within this system, we often speak about two main branches:

The sympathetic nervous system, which prepares the body for action. It is associated with increases in heart rate, muscle tension, and alertness. We often feel this as anxiety, urgency, restlessness, or anger.
The parasympathetic nervous system, which supports rest, digestion, and recovery. It is associated with slower heart rate, deeper breathing, and a greater sense of calm and connection.

In daily life, we move fluidly between these states. During times of stress, we can become stuck in high sympathetic arousal or in a more shut-down, low-energy state. Practices that gently lengthen the exhale, increase a sense of groundedness in the body, and bring in cues of safety and support can help engage regulatory pathways and support a gradual move back toward balance.

The practices below draw on these principles.

1. A Quiet Anchoring Breath for In-the-Moment Support

This is helpful for: anxiety, racing thoughts, feeling keyed up in conversation or at the table, a sense of internal agitation.

Breathing is one of the most direct ways we can influence our nervous system. Research suggests that slower breathing and a gentle emphasis on a longer exhale can stimulate pathways associated with the parasympathetic system, which helps the body move toward regulation.

Rather than forcing large, dramatic breaths, I often recommend a quieter, subtler breath that can be used in the middle of ordinary interactions.

How to practice:

Choose a simple phrase that feels steady and kind, such as:

I am here
In … out
This is hard … I understand

As you breathe in naturally, silently say the first half of the phrase. As you breathe out naturally, say the second half in your mind.

If it feels possible, allow your exhale to be slightly longer than your inhale. For example, breathing in to a gentle count of three and out to a gentle count of four. This does not need to be precise. The intention of a slower exhale is enough.

Continue this while you listen, eat, or speak. There is no need to change your posture or close your eyes unless you wish to.

You are not trying to force yourself to relax. You are simply sending a repeated, quiet message to your nervous system that some safety and support are present. Even a small softening is meaningful.

2. A Three-Point Body Check-In for Gentle Reconnection

This is helpful for: feeling disconnected or unreal, going on automatic pilot around food or family, feeling like you are mostly in your head and not very aware of your body.

Under stress, many people experience a kind of disconnection from bodily sensations. This is a common and understandable response. The nervous system is trying to reduce the impact of what feels overwhelming.

Grounding practices that gently bring awareness back to the body can help signal to the brain that you are here, now, and can support a gradual return to a sense of presence.

A simple version of this is the Three-Point Body Check-In. It can be done almost anywhere and usually takes less than a minute.

How to practice:

Bring gentle, curious attention to three specific places:

Your feet
Notice where your feet are: on the floor, in socks, in shoes, tucked under you.
Notice temperature, pressure, and contact with the surface.
If it helps, gently press your toes into the ground or move them slightly.
Your seat
Notice the surface that is supporting you: chair, sofa, bed, car seat.
Sense the weight of your body being held up.
You might quietly acknowledge: There is something solid under me.
Your hands
Notice where your hands are resting.
Very slowly, move one thumb across the opposite palm or fingertips.
Feel the sensation of skin on skin, or skin on fabric.

This is enough: feet, seat, hands.

You may notice that you feel slightly more present. You may not notice much change at first. Either way, you are gently inviting your brain and body to be in contact.

You can use this check-in before meals, after difficult conversations, while lying in bed, or during a moment alone. Over time, it can become a simple way of saying to your nervous system: I am here with you.

3. Creating a Sanctuary Space

This is helpful for: feeling emotionally flooded, overstimulated by noise or conversation, feeling on the verge of tears or shutdown, needing a pause from diet or body talk.

From a nervous system perspective, our environment matters greatly. The brain is continuously processing sensory information and social cues. Bright lights, loud noises, many conversations at once, and emotionally charged topics can all contribute to increased activation.

One practical way to support your system is to identify, in advance, a place that feels safe enough for a brief retreat. It does not need to be ideal. It simply needs to be a place where you can be mostly undisturbed for a few minutes.

This might be:

A bedroom or guest room
A bathroom
A parked car
A quiet corner of a yard, balcony, or hallway
A short walk outside, if this feels safe in your context

How to practice:

Before the day or event becomes intense, mentally choose your sanctuary space. If you can, visit it briefly when you arrive so your body can register it.

When you notice signs of overwhelm such as tightness in your chest, trouble focusing, feeling unusually irritable, or sensing that you want to disappear, give yourself permission to step away. A simple phrase is enough: I am going to the washroom, or I need a moment of fresh air.

Once you are there, choose one small grounding ritual that you will repeat each time you visit. For example:

Place one hand on your chest and one on your abdomen, and notice the movement of your breath for a minute or two.
Use the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding practice: name five things you see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste or imagine tasting.
Listen to a short, calming piece of music with your full attention.

You might add a quiet phrase such as:

This is my pause.
I am allowed to step away and return.
It makes sense that I need a break.

You do not need to return feeling completely settled. The purpose is to show your nervous system that you will not ignore its signals indefinitely, and that you are willing to adjust your environment when you can.

Each time you do this, you strengthen an internal sense of safety and self-trust.

4. A Daily Safety Cues Ritual

This is helpful for: chronic tension, feeling constantly braced for something, difficulty relaxing even when circumstances are relatively calm.

The nervous system is always gathering information to answer a basic question: Am I safe enough right now. This involves scanning for cues of possible threat, but also for cues of safety. Over time, especially in the context of chronic stress, it can become easier to notice potential danger than to register the subtle signals that something is okay.

Deliberately introducing brief, predictable moments of comfort and ease can help re-balance this. These do not need to be dramatic. In fact, small, repeated experiences are often most effective in supporting long-term regulation.

For the holiday season, you might choose one simple ritual each day that feels:

Genuinely soothing, even in a small way
Realistic given your schedule and environment
Offered to yourself without any conditions

Some possibilities:

Warmth
Sitting wrapped in a soft blanket for five minutes and noticing the pressure and warmth.
Holding a warm mug with both hands and feeling the heat in your palms and fingers. You might notice the smell before taking a sip.
Sound
Listening once a day to music that helps your body soften, even slightly. Allow yourself to really hear the sounds.
Humming very gently for a few breaths. Research suggests that this kind of vocalization can influence the nervous system and promote some degree of calm.
Supportive touch
Placing a hand on your heart, collarbone, or cheek for a few moments, especially before sleep or on waking, and quietly acknowledging your effort in getting through the day.
Gently squeezing your shoulders, noticing the sensation of contact and support.
Nature and light
Standing at a window and observing the sky or a tree for one minute. You might notice colours, shapes, or movement.
Stepping outside briefly and noticing the temperature of the air on your face.

These practices may seem small, and a part of you may question their importance. Yet the nervous system is shaped not only by major events, but by countless small experiences. Each moment in which your body can feel slightly more grounded, slightly more at ease, is a real input of information: at this moment, I am safe enough.

Over time, these small signals can accumulate into a greater capacity to return to regulation after stress.

In Closing

If the holiday season is emotionally or physically difficult for you, there is nothing wrong with you.

Your nervous system is drawing on patterns it has learned over years of living in your body and in your particular environment: around family, food, conflict, expectations, and cultural messages about worth and appearance. It makes sense that this time of year can awaken those patterns.

My hope is that these practices offer you a few more options. Not to make the season effortless, but to help you feel somewhat more supported inside your own experience.

Gently remind yourself that you are allowed to:

Take breaks when you need them
Listen to your body’s signals as information rather than as a problem
Be quieter or more reflective than those around you
Seek softness and calm in a busy or demanding time
Create small, protective routines that honour what your nervous system has been through

Your nervous system has carried you through many experiences. You are allowed to care for it in return, gently and persistently, one small practice at a time.

With warmth and steadiness for your holiday season,