3 Gentle New Years Intentions for Eating Disorder Recovery

As another new year begins, there can be so much pressure in the air to fix and change ourselves.

Lists of resolutions, promises to do better and try harder, often coming from a place of harsh judgement for how we were over the past year.

If you’re in eating disorder recovery, this time of year can feel especially hard. You might notice the eating disorder and your inner critic merging with the cultural noise, looking for further and new ways of judging and being hard on yourself, and demanding more of you….

When I think about intentions that truly support healing, they are much less about fixing and much more about softening, deepening, and gently turning towards yourself and your life in a new way.

Below are three New Year’s intentions you might explore in your own recovery. They’re not goals to measure or perform perfectly, but rather directions you can slowly lean into over time, in the most gentle and natural way you can.

You can choose one, all three, or simply let them spark something of your own.

Intention 1: I set an intention to try to be gentler with myself

For so many of us, the eating disorder did not appear in a vacuum. It grew in a nervous system that was already used to criticism, pressure, and measuring self‑worth with a very unforgiving ruler.

Even when you begin to challenge behaviours, that harsh inner atmosphere can remain. Sometimes it simply shifts targets: from “You’re not thin/controlled enough” to “You’re not recovering fast enough,” “You shouldn’t still be struggling with this,” “Everyone else is doing better than you.” (I explored this experience previously in a blog post here).

Setting the intention to be gentler with yourself is not about never feeling frustrated or never slipping into old patterns. Rather, it’s about slowly changing the relationship you have with yourself as you move through them.

Some ways you might live this intention:

1. Work on noticing your inner critic

You don’t need to silence it overnight. You can simply start to notice:

When does it show up?
What does it sound like?
Does it remind you of anyone?
Where do you feel it in your body?

You might imagine your inner critic or eating disorder voice as a scared, over‑controlling part of you that thinks criticism is keeping you safe. You don’t have to agree with it to acknowledge that it’s trying to help in the only way it knows how.

2. Practice small acts of self‑compassion

This doesn’t have to look or feel dramatic. It might simply be:

Putting a hand on your heart or gently squeezing your shoulder when you notice shame or fear arise, and silently saying,
This is really hard right now. I’m doing the best I can.
Using Kristin Neff’s Self‑Compassion Break in moments of distress:
This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
Asking, If someone I loved were feeling exactly what I’m feeling right now, what would I say to them? and then offering those words to yourself.

3. Let this be a year of learning, not fixing

Instead of “I will stop being so hard on myself,” you might frame this intention as:

This year I am learning how to speak to myself differently.
This year I am experimenting with gentler ways of responding to my mistakes.
This year I am curious about who I am when self‑compassion is allowed into the room.

And if concrete supports feel helpful, you might choose one small step to begin with, such as:

Reading a book on self‑compassion (for example: Self‑Compassion by Kristin Neff, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, or The Mindful Self‑Compassion Workbook).
Choosing one phrase of reassurance to repeat to yourself whenever you notice your inner critic, such as: I hear you, but I’m working on not treating myself this way anymore.

You are not going to do this perfectly. The intention itself includes the days when you forget, the moments you spiral, the times you only remember to be kind to yourself afterwards.

Intention 2: I set an intention to work towards honouring my body as it is, even when my mind protests

In diet culture, bodies are viewed as projects. There is always something to shrink, tone, perfect, or optimize.

In recovery, one of the bravest shifts we make is moving from “My body is a problem to be solved” to “My body is a living being to be cared for and respected, even when I don’t like how it looks or feels.”

Notice that this intention is not:

I will love my body all the time, or
I will never have a bad body image day again.

Instead, it’s about honouring your body – treating it with dignity, care, and kindness – even on the days you don’t feel accepting or at peace with it.

Some ways you might live this intention:

1. Try to let your actions lead, even when your thoughts might lag behind

Often, body image healing begins with behaviour, not belief.

You might still have thoughts like:

I hate how my stomach looks, or
I shouldn’t need this much food, or
I don’t deserve rest until I’ve done X.

And at the very same time, you can gently practice acting as if your body is worthy of care now, not later.

This might look like:

Eating meals and snacks consistently, even when the eating disorder tells you you’ve had enough.
Following your meal plan or your dietitian’s guidance even on days when your body image feels the worst.
Allowing yourself rest such as lying down, watching a show, cancelling a non‑essential plan, when your body is tired, rather than demanding that it earn rest first.
Choosing clothes that are physically comfortable, even if a part of you resists wearing a larger size.

You do not have to wait until your body image feels healed to behave in a way that honours your body.

In fact, acting in honouring ways is often what slowly creates shifts in how we feel.

2. Soften how you talk about your body

If fully positive affirmations (I love my body) feel inauthentic or even infuriating, you might experiment with more neutral or gentle phrases, such as:

This is a human body.
My body is allowed to take up space.
My body is doing its best to keep me alive.
I don’t have to like how I look to treat myself kindly today.

Sometimes honouring your body means giving yourself permission to:

Change the subject.
Step away from diet talk.
Curate your social media so your feed contains more body diversity and less body‑fixing and appearance fixation.

3. Remember that your body is not the problem

In our culture, it’s very easy to believe, If my body were different, I would be okay.

But so often, what hurts most is not the body itself, but:

The messages we’ve absorbed about which bodies are “good” or “disciplined.”
The very real stigma and oppression that certain bodies face.
The way weight and appearance have been equated with worth, safety, love, or belonging.

Honouring your body includes gently reminding yourself, whenever you can:

It makes sense that I feel this way in a culture that worships thinness.
My pain is real, and it doesn’t mean my body is wrong.
I can be on my own side, even in a world that often is not.

This intention will likely feel messy and imperfect. There will be days when body hatred feels louder than anything else. On those days, honouring your body might be as simple as:

Eating something small when part of you wants to skip.
Wearing the softer pants.
Placing a hand over the area you’re criticizing and whispering, “I know you’re trying to protect me.”

Intention 3: I set an intention to gently work on building a life that is bigger than my eating disorder

The eating disorder is often trying to meet very real needs: for safety, control, identity, belonging, achievement, a sense of specialness, a way to cope with overwhelming feelings.

In this sense, it can feel like everything – your structure, your identity, your way of making sense of the world.

One of the most hopeful, and also most disorienting, parts of recovery is slowly discovering that you are so much more than this illness.

When you set the intention to build a life that is bigger than your eating disorder, you aren’t promising that you will instantly “find your purpose” or feel ready to let go. You are simply choosing to turn towards the parts of you that want more: more connection, more meaning, more peace, more aliveness.

Some ways you might live this intention:

1. Begin to explore what you are recovering to, not only what you’re recovering from

You might gently ask yourself:

If food and body thoughts took up less space, what would I want more of in my life?
When have I felt most like myself, even if only for a moment?
What values matter to me, independent of weight or appearance? (For example: creativity, honesty, curiosity, kindness, justice, playfulness, spirituality, learning, connection.)

You don’t need clear answers right away. The questions themselves are part of the intention.

You might jot down a few words that feel meaningful, and simply keep them somewhere you’ll see them – a notebook, the notes app on your phone, the inside of a journal.

2. Begin with very small experiments

Instead of pressuring yourself to dramatically change your life, you might try tiny, manageable experiments that make space for the parts of you that are not the eating disorder.

For example:

Spending 10 minutes a week on something that has nothing to do with food, exercise, or appearance – reading fiction, doodling, playing music, sitting outside, journaling, learning something random that interests you.
Reaching out to one person you feel safe with, not to talk about the eating disorder (unless you want to), but simply to connect.
Saying “yes” gently to something your healthy/wise self wants but the eating disorder resists – going to a movie, joining a low‑pressure group, trying a new hobby – or saying “no” to something that drains you, as an act of protecting your energy.

These small acts can feel insignificant or even selfish through the lens of the eating disorder. But from the perspective of your deeper self, they are like planting seeds.

You don’t see the tree overnight. But the root system begins quietly forming long before anything is visible above ground.

3. Let yourself be a whole, mixed, in‑progress human

Building a life bigger than your eating disorder doesn’t mean:

You never relapse or have a hard day.
You feel inspired or aligned with your values all the time.
You suddenly know exactly who you are.

Often it looks much more ordinary:

Eating your lunch and then also sending that email you’ve been putting off.
Crying on the couch and then texting a friend anyway.
Feeling triggered, using a coping skill imperfectly, and then still showing up to your therapy session.

A bigger life is not a perfect life. It’s simply a life where, little by little, the eating disorder is no longer the only thing happening inside of you.

You might have moments where you think, “I still feel so entrenched – nothing is changing.” And then, months later, you suddenly realize you’re able to:

Watch a show without tracking how everybody eats.
Go out for coffee without rehearsing your order the night before.
Get absorbed in a book, or a conversation, or a sunset, and forget about your body for a little while.

These are signs that your life is indeed growing around and beyond the eating disorder, even if it has taken root very quietly and slowly.

In Closing

If your mind starts to turn these intentions into more pressure, see if you can take a breath and remember:

These are not rules.
They are invitations.

You don’t have to meet them perfectly, or every day, or even every week. Recovery itself is full of seasons: of momentum, and of stillness; of bravery, and of exhaustion.

Your worth is not dependent on how well you keep any intention.

Perhaps all you need to carry with you into this New Year is something like: